Where can I find databases?

Rick Thompson rick at cast.uark.edu
Tue Oct 24 10:15:04 EDT 1995

Hi Mr. Hammad Amin,
  I know you made a mistake and sent it to the GRASS list. However, somewhere
it does say that "everything we do will be exposed." It's happened.
  May I say that even if Tomoko is of the lowest class in Japan, she has more
class than you. There are many words to describe your behavior. None of them
are good. I hope you enjoy your own "low" class. 

On Tue, 24 Oct 1995, HAMMAD AMIN wrote:

> Hello Samer
> I am OK. Thanks.
> I received your mails last week. I wanted to take some big decision
> before replying. Unfortunatly, I am still wondering.
> The decision is about the shape of my life in the next 3-5 years.
> I made up my minde already to stay in Japan (in the same of similar job)
> and to try in other places (mostly, I will not find a better job).
> Also, I wanted that my mother comes here to get rid of the complains
> that I should go back to take care of her.
> Of course, life and work here is not easy. Especially at the age of 65.
> TV programs are mostly in Japanese. The society is closed. Life is
> expensive, etc. So it is impossible for my to satisfy my mother.
> I also have a strong desire to get married. I had this same desire for
> the last 5 years (maby becase of lonliness). I tried my best in the couple
> of times when I went to Jordan. I failed. I don't want to try again and
> fail again. My little Tomoko is a simple and a bit naive girl. She is from
> the lowest cast of the Japanese society, and she is not so clever (I addmitt).
> Her family is agaist our marriage and they are asking us to go to hell 
> (it means that there will be no new family relations, etc. but continuous
> headeach). My mother is also against the whole story and she started threatenin
> that she is not ready to get insulted in Japan by such a family and that 
> she will not accept such a marriage and go back (my sister is fed up of her
> also). Tomoko may not be able to provide any income and the marriage may
> not lead to a Japanese citizenship. STILL, I don't want to break up with 
> Tomoko and start looking for another women. Things will be more or less 
> the same. I feel that staying alone for another year or so will not be
> easy. Tomoko is ready to accept Islamic manners etc. and to live with
> my mother in a 70 m2 house (3rooms and kichen). I am not sure wether they 
> will go along or not. They whole thing is not so encouraging. As you said,
> the program is not working because of some funny data, but we insist that
> the program has some error. In other words, It is not easy for us to neglect
> our roots and take life easy because our hardware and software is not 
> compatible with the west (or the far east). 
> If I can find some compromise for my mother, then I can realy go to hell
> with Tomoko (or other Japanese wife). Forcing your wife and mother to
> live together is not a wise idea. 
> As I told you before, I sent some money to my sister in Amman and asked her
> to buy some furniture for the house I bought last year. However, my mother
> refused the idea of living alone there. The alternative is to rent the
> apartment (furniched) for about $500/month. 
> To summurize, the problem is that staying abroad means many compomises
> that may not be acceptable by all parties. It is not only the problem
> of marrying a foreign women. As far as you are alone, there is always
> hope that you can go back and adapt. With wife and children, going back
> may become impossible. As for the criteria for selecting the wife, it is
> a very fuzzy thing that any women on earth may be a candidate. The problem
> is in the other programs running in the background and making your CPU
> very busy. But, can you kill all the processes without fearing that the
> system may crash? Some people think that when you get a complicated situation
> involving a contradiction among several requierments, it is easier to play-
> back (undo) some moves and try again.
> HOWEVER, IF WE CAN FIND SOME MEANING in the idea of going back, after trying
> other things and saving some money, we can still be successful and happy
> in Damascus like old times. We can try starting a small firm (consultancy
> and trade) and earn enough money to go abraod once a year. There you may
> find better women (larger market) to select a wife. In addition, you may
> eat KUSA-MAHSHI cooked specialy for you by your mother-in-law!
> Amin

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